The WTF fruit

WTF.

This, my friends, is a Kiwano Horned Melon

Seriously. What the hell?

DO NOT, by any means, buy this if you are planning to eat it.

Let this be a warning to anyone who is suckered in by the pretty yellowy-orange swirls and it's badass spikes: I don't think it's for eating. 

But I gave it ago anyway..

So it started when some of my father heard that a few of his friends were visiting from China. As a great host, he went on the hunt around Auckland in search of foods they'd have never experienced -naturally occuring paua, yummy salmon, kiwifruit and.. Kiwano. He was certain that they had never tasted this spikey fruit before. Because he, himself, hadn't. In fact, no one in our family had ever tasted it before or even knew how to go about eating it!

Ingredients for Kiwano Sorbet: Kiwano, 2 frozen bananas, 1 cup chopped pineapple

Wikipedia tells me that the Kiwano, or Horned Melon, is supposed to taste like a banana with the texture of cucumber -and I'm here to tell you that it's total lies. While it does have the texture of cucumber (the slimy centre) it, in no way, taste of banana. Unfortunately, I can't actually tell you what it tastes like. It's about 90% slime. Green slime. Like boogers.

Juicing the Kiwano

So basically we ended up with 3 of these really pretty, albeit gross fruits that no one ate and they sat in the fruit bowl for days while I contemplated how I was going to save them from the bin.

When the sieve stops being effective, use muslin cloth and SQUEEZE

After quite an extensive search, I concluded that no real Kiwano recipe exists and that it probably means that you shouldn't eat them unless you hate yourselves a little bit. But, if you have already been tricked by it's outside appearance, here's something you can do with it: Sorbet!

Bear in mind that the Kiwano is not, by any means, the main part of this recipe -it is just a means of using up the Kiwano you've got sitting up there. But seriously, don't buy it.

Kiwano, Banana and Pineapple Sorbet 

 

Ingredients:

2 bananas, frozen solid
1 cup fresh pineapple chunks, frozen
Juice of one kiwano (1/3 cup of any fruit juice would also work)

Honey or other liquid sweetenerto taste

Method:

1. Put the frozen fruit in a food processor and allow it to thaw for about 10 minutes. 

2. Mix the honey with the kiwano juice. 

3. Start up the food processor and pulse to chop the fruit thoroughly. 

4. Add the juice-agave mixture and process until smooth and creamy. 

5. Serve immediately in the shells of the kiwano or in small bowls.